Crying Into Existence
by Kisa101
Summary: “Don’t cry for me now. There’s no turning back As I stand here and take my final bow.” This was just the beginning of Sakura's message to Syaoran in which everything changed with just one word: Goodbye. S&S Please review.


A/N: Hello again

A/N: Hello again. I'm back with another one shot this time. I know I promised that I'd update The Storyteller…but I have a writer's block. (sweat drops) The next chapter will be up ASAP. This, however, is a one shot based on…I don't know. I seem to have a lot on my mind and after reading a poem I wrote last year this one shot came to mind. This will be my first time trying something angst…if you can call it that. I'm not good with angst and I don't like reading them too often because they really depress me but, here I am writing one. I hope you like it. This is based on the poem I wrote.

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS. Clamp does. However, this poem is mine.

Crying Into Existence

"So, this is finally it. We've made it. It feels like only yesterday that we just met at the beginning of high school and now here we are…graduating." Tomoyo looked at her best friend Sakura with pure excitement in her eyes.

Sakura nodded. "It's finally time. It's been a long journey but here we are." She looked at Tomoyo with a small smile on her face. "And you're graduating with the highest marks in the class."

Tomoyo shook her head. "That doesn't matter. You're graduating with an award too, remember? Which reminds me, is your poem ready?"

Sakura pulled out a poem on light blue stationary. "I have it right here."

Tomoyo then settled down slightly and held Sakura's hands in hers. "Sakura, what are you going to do now? Once the ceremony's over, everyone will be going their separate ways. You can stay with me if you like."

Sakura shook her head slowly. "You're my best friend in the world, but I couldn't impose on you like that. Besides…" She turned to face Syaoran who was talking to some of the popular girls with a solemn face. "I've already made my plans."

Tomoyo eyed her carefully. "If you say so. I just want you to know that you're free to come by any time. Don't be a stranger."

Sakura gave her best friend a hug. "Thank you so much…for everything."

* * *

The ceremony was well underway. The air was filled with excitement and anticipation from the graduating students. Eriol and Syaoran sat next to each other. One was smiling from ear to ear, while the other…

"Hey, Syaoran, what's wrong? It's our graduation. I would've thought you'd be happy," Eriol whispered to him.

Syaoran didn't reply.

Eriol nudged him again. "You can tell me what's wrong you know. We are best friends after all, aren't we?"

Syaoran muttered something.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Syaoran mumbled it again. "I'm sorry, but I really didn't hear you."

Syaoran turned his head to face him. Amber eyes were clouded over with emotions. "I said," Syaoran whispered harshly, "I don't want to talk about it. Leave me alone." With that he turned his head towards the front and Eriol didn't say another word.

The principal was still speaking. "All of our students have done exceptionally well this year. One student in particular, Sakura Kinomoto, earned the Student Author's Award just last month. She will now come on stage to read a poem written by her. Polite applause soon followed.

Sakura walked up on stage with the light blue stationary in hand towards the mike. The applause soon died and she looked into the audience with a small smile. "This poem is dedicated to someone special out there…you know who you are."

Syaoran kept both eyes on stage, paying attention to every word that came out of her mouth.

Sakura took a deep breath. "My poem is entitled, Crying Into Existence." She looked around at the silent audience and began.

"_Don't cry for me now._

_There's no turning back_

_As I stand here and take my final bow."_

And with just those few words Syaoran realized that the message was intended just for him. He paid even closer attention to her as she continued.

"_No tears I ought to see._

_Why should I expect any?_

_Before, you never had any for me."_

As Sakura continued to read memories flash before her eyes. She thought of when she first met Syaoran and they became close friends at the beginning of high school. However, his desire for popularity took over his desire for wanting true friends and he left her.

"_I'm lonely, I'll admit._

_It sucks, I know._

_Why'd you care when you never used to though…not one bit?"_

She thought about the first time she noticed his change towards her. She walked up to him amongst a group of students and smiled. "Hey, good morning! How have you been?"

Syaoran looked at her with defiant eyes. "Who do you think you are, talking to me so friendly?"

Stunned by the response she asked, "What's wrong, Syaoran?"

He glared at her harshly. "It's Li to you, Kinomoto."

She looked up at him with sad emerald eyes. "Why are you being like this?"

"I don't want to hang around with low lives like you," came the reply. Nothing else was said after that. Sakura had understood.

"_However, I simply want to tell you_

_I'm leaving._

_Something you've always asked me to do."_

Amber eyes grew wide in shock. Leaving? He knew he had said it many times, but he was being stupid back then. Allowing popularity to get in the way every time.

"_Never again will you see my face._

_No more nuisances._

_No longer your disgrace."_

Eriol turned to see his best friend in obvious pain, but what could he do? Syaoran had brought this on himself and no one else could fix it but him.

Sakura smirked beside herself as she remembered the incident that led to that line in the poem. It was only a month ago.

* * *

It was her parents' anniversary and she and Touya had a surprise planned for them that evening. Sakura came running down the stairs to see everyone else at the table. "Good morning, everyone!"

Touya smirked. "Well, I guess the monster finally decided to wake up." He stopped suddenly as Sakura stomped on his foot with a bright smile on her face.

"That new house of yours needs to be built quickly." She ignored his mutterings as she gave her father and mother a hug. "Happy Anniversary, Mom, Dad."

They smiled back. "Thank you so much Sakura," her mother replied.

"We have a surprise planned for you two tonight. So make sure you're both home by seven."

Their father nodded. "We promise to be home on time so this better be a good one." Sakura and Touya smiled.

That day at school she was walking with Syaoran alone. A few months had passed since he made a big apology to her and they had returned to being close friends. "So, you and Touya planned and moonlight dinner by the lake for them have you? That's nice."

Sakura grinned. "They're going to love it. They haven't had anything this big done for them since I don't know how long! Touya promised to drive them there for me and they'd meet me there."

Syaoran smiled. "That's really nice of you two. However, I'd like to ask you a favour after it's all over."

"Sure what is it?"

That's when Syaoran pulled her close to him and whispered in her ear, "Meet me behind the school tomorrow after the final bell. I have a surprise of my own for you. Sakura merely blushed.

When evening time came Sakura went to Spring Lake and got everything prepared. She then sat down and waited…and waited…and waited. That's when she noticed the time was after seven, much later than planned. It didn't take long to get to the lake after all. That's when she decided to call.

Suddenly she got a phone call from her cell phone. Thinking it was Touya she answered hurriedly. "Touya, what happened? Why are you so late…Yukito? Why are you calling? Did something happen? What? I'm on my way."

She called Tomoyo and got a ride to the hospital quickly. That was when she saw Yukito sitting down next to Nakuru, his girlfriend. She ran over to them quickly. "Where are they? What happened to them? Are they alright?"

Nakuru looked up at her with tears in her eyes. "Oh Sakura! I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry!" She jumped up and hugged her tightly.

Sakura looked at them confused. "Why, what happened?"

Yukito looked at her sadly. "They were in a car accident. Their car was hit by a drunken driver. I'm sorry…but they didn't make it."

Sakura stood there stunned. Her parents? Touya? Dead? She pushed Nakuru away. "Liars! They can't be dead! They can't be!"

Yukito shook his head. "I'm sorry, but it's the truth. Please, believe me." He reached out for her hand when she knocked it away.

"You're lying. Both of you! They are not dead! They can't be! They can't be!" She ran out of the hospital pushing Tomoyo and the others away. She ran and ran until she found herself in Tomoeda Park. She sat in a bench and curled herself in a ball, crying her heart out. "They can't be dead…they can't be."

She cried until she couldn't cry any more and slowly her eyes started to droop. The last thing she saw was a blurry image of a familiar face.

"Yukito, I wish I was in that accident instead of them…" Sakura fell asleep.

When she woke up the next day she found herself at Tomoyo's home. Everyone kept their distance from her knowing how she must be feeling. Tomoyo insisted that Sakura stayed home but she refused, remembering her promise to Syaoran.

That afternoon she went behind the school to see Syaoran sitting by a tree staring up into the sky. She walked over to him. "I'm here like I promised. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Syaoran gave her a stony glare, one she hadn't seen in quite a while. "I have nothing to say to a liar."

Her eyes widened. "What are you talking about?"

"Surprise for your parents huh? There was no surprise for them was there. You made everything up didn't you?"

"Why are you saying all of this?"

"I saw you at the park, you and some guy. If that's where you were going, why couldn't you tell me? You could've told me the truth, instead of that lie." Syaoran laughed bitterly. "I can't believe I wanted to be your friend. I gave up my popularity for you!"

Sakura shook her head and went closer to him. "You gotta believe me, Syaoran! I was telling the truth!"

Syaoran pushed her away. "It's Li to you, Kinomoto. How could I believe you now? Don't talk to me ever again! You're nothing more than a nuisance. You disgust me." With that he walked away, leaving Sakura in tears once again.

* * *

The graduation was over and everyone was giving their goodbyes. Sakura looked down at the school from the hill she was standing on. "Well…I guess this is goodbye, isn't it?"

"Wait."

Sakura turned around to see a pain stricken Syaoran. She however, remained emotionless. "What do you want with me?"

Syaoran looked down at the ground. "The poem you read in there…I thought it was beautiful."

"Thank you."

"I heard about your family, Sakura. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions."

Sakura shook her head. "It's okay, Li. It's okay."

Syaoran looked at her with grief clearly in his eyes. "Please call me Syaoran."

"I'll stick to Li, thank you." She kept her eyes away from him.

"Oh," was all he could think of to say. He stared at the school behind them and then back at her. "Are you really leaving?"

Sakura nodded. "You heard them back there. I got a full time scholarship for a college in England for four years."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tonight."

"Are you ever coming back?"

"I don't know." They were words he really didn't want to hear.

He took her hand and held it in his. Sakura allowed him to do so. "Please don't leave."

"I must. I need to get away from this place for awhile. I need to get away…"

He took Sakura's face and turned towards him. He looked her straight in the eyes. Amber eyes filled with mixed emotions. "Please don't go. I loved you."

And that was when for the first time in a month Syaoran saw Sakura's eyes. They weren't bright and bubbly like they used to be. They weren't even sad. No…what he saw was empty emerald eyes…void of any and all emotion. "That's such a shame," she replied. "Because I still do."

"They why are you leaving? Just answer me that and I'll leave you alone."

Sakura continued to look at him emotionlessly. "You broke my heart over and over again. I thought we were friends and you ditched me to be popular. You ridiculed me, pulled pranks on me, laughed at my failures…just to fit in.

"Finally you apologized and I forgave you. I thought things would work out this time. I was wrong. You broke my heart again and this time even worse than the first. I didn't seem to exist in your eyes anymore." She noticed all the emotions in his eyes but she noticed one that stood out the most: regret.

"I lost my entire family in the span of one night. I had lost their company and I had lost you. I cannot take another heartbreak right now and I can't take being here for a while. If you really love me…you'd wait, but I don't think you want to do that. I don't know if I'll be coming back."

She gave an empty smile. "I hope you're satisfied with my answer because now…I must be leaving." She gave a small bow. "It was nice knowing you...goodbye." Sakura walked off, leaving Syaoran to watch her disappear.

She soon started to softly hum a tune when she turned around one last time and saw Syaoran still staring at her from the same spot as the sun started to set behind him. That was when the final part of her poem came back to memory.

"_So as I leave, softly singing_

_I bid you goodbye_

_You ought to be gleaming…_

_So why are you crying?"_


End file.
